Traci Anello

The Power in Food

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The Day I Rediscovered Cooking with “Somebody Feed Phil”

It’s been two months since I was given the opportunity to start a completely different career. This is an opportunity I am forever grateful.

November 8, 2021 ended a long thirty-seven year career in foodservice. I traded my black coat, my red and black pinned striped apron and my not so shiny black clogs for a large office with split screens and a very comfy chair. I traded working every other weekend and holidays for every weekend off and every holiday too. I transferred to another department within the hospital. I went from cooking for our patients and staff to credentialing for our providers. I couldn’t be in a more different but exciting world.

The day I punched out on a time clock for the last time was more significant than just ending the day. I ended my career. That weekend I didn’t want to cook. I didn’t want to eat out. I just didn’t want to interact with food. Like a rush from a broken dam, the question began to flood my mind. Did I do the right thing? Is this how I want to end my career in the kitchen? I had so many accomplishments. I grew from a mouthy 17 year old to a prominent business owner and pastry instructor in a college program I created. Working kitchens was easy for me. Did I really want to give that up? Absolutely. I was ready for a change. I was very concerned with the direction foodservice was headed in. The lack of employees and covered shifts meant working longer hours. The lack of morals and responsibility that kitchens now faced only meant longer days. It was definitely time to move on.

About a year and half ago, my friend Gail asked if I could come over to her house and help with a catering job she had. I loved cooking with Gail so that was an easy “Yes”. When I got there she had another friend, Deb, over that I recognized but didn’t know. It was fun. We talked food, cooked food, ate some food and had some great laughs. I didn’t know it at the time but this woman would later on become the very person that would open up a whole new door to start a completely different career just two years later. You never know in life who you’re going to meet when it comes to food as the common denominator. As time went on, I became friends with this woman and we always enjoyed talking about food. I loved seeing her at the hospital because it was a few minutes to escape and have a conversation that I knew would be a good one every time.

So fast forward to this year late summer. As COVID19 continued to do its thing and disrupt anything in it’s path, the state of Maine put a mandatory vaccine into effect. Not everyone was compliant and that meant opening doors for people to move up in the company. One of the positions was in the department I now work. I talked to Deb about it and she thought I would be a good candidate. Being a food person, she compared what her office did to that of being a chef. Attention to detail, being able to handle a stressful situation, organization skills and working in a changed environment and being able to pick up where you left off were just a few. I decided to make the career change. It meant hanging up that black coat. In exchange I would experience opportunities I haven’t for years like weekends off, holidays off, a good salary and wearing real clothes. It wasn’t a hard decision.

I love what I do. I love what I did. Cooking for a hospital staff is an honor. You have the opportunity to create good food for the very people who every day are saving lives. They only have 10 maybe 15 minutes to eat something quickly and they give us that time to serve them something comforting. That’s an honor. I never took that lightly. Every day I put the same love into every dish I made hoping they would receive that. If you feed someone good food, it feeds their soul. And when you feed a soul, you know the comfort that delivers. That means that person can go back and make better decisions for themselves and the patient. And when you can make better decisions for the patient, the healing begins. Food is love and every meal you have that canvas to create the best. That’s what I miss the most. But in my new position I help with the providers and if I do my job correctly and with the same passion, the patients will benefit.

This is why I stopped cooking at home. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I just didn’t want to do it.One day my friend told me about a show she had watched called “Somebody Feed Phil”. She said it’s a very good show about a man that travels and eats great food. I didn’t want to cook let alone watch someone else do it. But she always had great recommendations about books and shows so I knew at some point I would try an episode. It’s New Years day in Maine. It’s cold and raining and I don’t have the energy to go out. So I sit on the couch with my two cats, Chaos and Bear on each side and put “Somebody Feed Phil” on. He’s in Brazil in Rio de Janeiro. This man loves food! I went from sitting on the couch to sitting on the edge of the couch. I’m watching this beautiful country and the people in it. I’m watching this man so excited about his food that he looks like a 5 year old with his first slice of pizza! It was awesome. He loved his food and he shared it! He won my heart. I was so excited. I decided at that moment I would recreate the black bean dish he was eating. This show sparked the very flame I blew out just two months prior. I made a grocery list and headed to the store. I bought the ingredients and headed home to make myself a lunch even Phil would be proud to share. I sautéed the onions and celery until they sizzled and the celery danced around the pan to the sweet symphony of the sizzle. I added the garlic and spices. My house smelled like a restaurant. I poured the black beans and their velvety goodness into the pan and stirred. I added some chopped kale and squeezed two beautiful limes. The limes turned out to be the stars of the dish.I finished it off with fresh cilantro. On the side I baked some crispy tofu and a sweet potato. One the show there’s some type of fruit that accompanies every dish. I’m not a fan of fruit or anything sweet but they’re on to something. I peeled a tangerine and placed it on the dish and then added some edamame to the sweet potato for color. I poured this beautiful black bean sauce over brown rice. Where’s Phil?? Where’s Richard? They should be here. they should be tasting this dish and Phil should be doing that sweet victory dance he does when he enjoys what he just experienced for the first time. Phil is such an inspiration with his show.

I decided to make one dish from each show. It’s my tribute to this incredible show. I’m especially excited because the second episode I watched was Phil in San Fransisco. His two guests chefs were my absolute favorites: Alice Waters and Thomas Keller. Can this show get any better! I’m not sure what I’m making from that show but it will something from our farmers market as a nod to Alice Waters. Thomas Keller is also a wonderful inspiration so I’ll have to choose wisely what I make from him.

Another thing I like about Phil’s show is his interaction with his wife and father. I loved the jokes. There’s a lot of love in the family and it shows.

I can’t thank Deb enough for recommending this show. It’s exactly what I needed. Food is love. It’s so apparent in these episodes. Phil is so happy and giving. That’s what the celebration of food is all about. It’s about learning new cultures and how they enjoy food. It’s learning about their ingredients and what’s abundant to them and how they utilize that. It’s about community, sharing and the love of food. It’s hoping that someday we embrace each other and our cultures as a whole and bring peace to the world one plate at a time. It can be done. Just watch one episode of “Somebody Feed Phil” and tell me how motivated you are to share a meal. That is the power in food.


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A favorite pie and a slice of cheesecake are all part of the power in food

This Thanksgiving plans were all set. I was going to New Jersey to have dinner with my sister Kim, her family and some dear friends. We talk about the menu months prior and everything started to line up. I love cooking in her kitchen. It’s beautiful. The set up is perfect and the balcony filled with fresh herbs is right outside the door. I always head out there with my coffee and a pair of scissors. There’s fresh thyme, chives, sage, basil, rosemary and mint. It’s how I picture Alice Waters everyday gathering her fresh herbs for her salad or for her roasted vegetables.

Well, sometimes plans change and it can happen very quickly. For us, it happened in the blink of an eye. I got a phone call four days before Thanksgiving that my dad had fallen and was in the hospital. He cracked 9 ribs and was in a lot of pain. Thankfully he was stabilized and was resting. On the way to the hospital, my step mother got in a car accident. The second phone call I got about her accident was hard to hear. Thankfully she was unhurt, as was the other driver but her car was totaled. Immediately it was clear that the game plan for Thanksgiving was about to change. After talking with my sister, it was decided that I would stay back and drive to Massachusetts instead for the holiday meal. It was a no brainer actually. My dad needed to stay rested once he got home. So I made the call to my step mother and told her I would be down on Thursday to cook the meal. I was more than happy to do this. It meant they didn’t have to leave the house and they were going to get one hell of a dinner. This is where a quick change of plans can be a good thing. You never know in a given day how things are going to change. If you go with it and adapt to the current situation, it can become less stressful for everyone. Love is a wonderful driving force and it can create some beautiful moments out of an unfortunate set of circumstances.

I came up with a menu and the very next day went to our local butcher and asked about an eight pound turkey breast. They were sold out which was to be expected so it was off to the supermarket in town which I always try to avoid because I prefer to support local businesses. Fate had a different path for me. I went into the store and couldn’t find what I needed. An associate from the meat department approached me and asked if I needed help. I was a bit surprised because customer service in a corporate setting is a thing of the past. But this man was very happy to help and I was very happy to let him. I told him I was looking for a turkey breast about 8 pounds.   He said he was almost certain they were about to put an order in for some that would arrive the following morning and he checked. Sure enough, I was in the right place at the right time. I was able to order one with the understanding that I needed to be at the store early to assure it would be there. The associate was looking every where for a pen while I was thanking him several times. I wanted this meal to be the best for my family and it meant everything had to line up two days prior to Thanksgiving. He played a big part in making this happen. Where there’s a will there’s a way. So I took my favorite pen out of my checkbook and handed it to him. He wrote down my information and went to hand the pen back when I told him to put it in his pocket and hang on to it. I don’t know who was more appreciative. Was it me for getting this order in or him for getting a nice pen? It was a wonderful quick moment that ended in us both wishing each other a nice holiday. These are the important little victories in life and this was just the beginning.

The next morning, I was supposed to be at a local bakery to help the owner make her yearly mega pie order. By now it’s a tradition to do this with her and her amazing staff every year. But first I had to pick up my turkey breast and sure enough, it was ready. I was thrilled. I brought it home and placed it in my refrigerator and then off to Kennebunk to make what would be 145 pies that days. I was thinking of dessert for our meal on my way to the bakery. I decided I would make my dad’s favorite pumpkin cheesecake and his wife’s favorite mincemeat pie. That would make them both very happy and given the circumstances we were in, it was the exact thing to do. I love food and I especially love he power in food. So while I was in the middle of this pie marathon, I was trying to figure out when am I going to have the time to pull these desserts off the day before the big meal. Out of the kindness of this bakery owners heart, she said for me to just make the pie while I was there. Thank you!! So I did which meant it was a real time saver for me and I also got to roll out a beautiful homemade pie crust. Out of the 145 pies I made that day (146 including this one), the mincemeat was my favorite. The meaning behind this pie was of pure love. When you know what someone’s favorite dessert is and you make it, there’s a lot more than ingredients going into that pie. Love in Love out. The cheesecake I put together that night. I thought of my grandmother, Marietta Straguzzi, and the love she used to put into my dad’s meals. Maybe I was channeling her love and techniques. I like to think so because I never measured the ingredients. It was a little of this and a little of that just like she used to do.

Thursday morning I packed up my car and headed to Massachusetts. It was a perfect trip down and I stopped and grabbed a couple of coffees from my dad  and Ginna’s favorite coffee shop. I got to the house and hauled all of the good things I brought down with me. I took the pies out of the bag and showed Ginna her mincemeat pie. She was really happy. When my dad saw his cheesecake he was willing to dine on that first and eat turkey later. He’s  funny guy my dad. He loves to eat and loves his desserts.  It was nice to see him getting around. He was very sore but he stayed in the kitchen and we talked while I prepared the meal. I knew once he started to smell everything cooking, it would stimulate the healing process. That’s what food does. When it smells good, it looks good. When it looks good, you associate it tasting great before you even stick your fork in it. The healing starts. You’re happy and excited in anticipation of a great meal shared with family. We had turkey breast, two types of stuffing (I’m plantbased so no animal products on mine), roasted squash and carrots (all produce was organic too), mashed potatoes, roasted head of cauliflower, green beans, gravy, fresh rolls and the cranberry sauce. My dad, his wife, my brother Tony and I all sat around the table and laughed and ate a lot of food. It was the best time. It was very special to me and them.

This was a meal that wasn’t planned and would not have taken place at this holiday if not for the unfortunate events that took place with my dad. This was a total reset moment for me. This meal was so special and meant so much to each of us. There were a lot of hugs and love in that room. How can that not be healing?? It’s an important lesson that when an event happens that’s devastating and hard to embrace, you have to go with what’s important for everyone. You have to create a new set of circumstances that will bring a good feeling for each person including yourself. We did it in less than a day. It was the right thing to do. It created some very good memories. It brought back some important traditions. These would have all been lost that day if my dad hadn’t fallen. I’m not saying they wouldn’t have had a nice day otherwise because they most certainly could have. What I’m saying is, this situation created an opportunity for four people to reconnect and enjoy a nice meal together. The conversation was fun. The food was good. Love was abundant. It was a beautiful day that came to a close with a favorite pie and a slice of cheesecake.

I’m very thankful for my family. I’m also very thankful for the power in food.


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Portland Farmers Market

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Fridays excite me. Why? Because it means one more day until the Portland Farmers Market at Deering Oaks Park in Portland, Maine. This is my favorite Maine market on Saturday morning. I want to note that this also runs on Wednesday’s at Monument Square.  Maine has many and I haven’t been to all of them yet. My goal is to visit each and every one of them. If you have a favorite, please list it. If you have a favorite farm, please add it in the comment section.

What I enjoy the most about this market is the farmers. They proudly display their hard work with arrangements fit for any magazine. The colors are vibrant. The produce is healthy, unblemished and anxiously waiting to be a part of your creativity. The flowers, the herbs and the canned goods are a rainbow of colors that stretch from one end of the market to the next. The freshly baked sourdough breads, the muffins bursting with their own carrots and zucchini and the honey are impossible to walk passed with trying.

My first stop is always the Good Shepherd for his sourdough bread. By Thursday I’m usually out. Thursday is a sad day. I wait all week for another fresh loaf.  He has many to choose from including his sourdough, carmelized onion, carrot and even chaga (a type of mushroom). The reason I visit his table first is because his daughter has her own little entrepreneurial set up selling her zucchini muffins. She’s pleasant and efficient. She always says thank you and keeps her table neat and in order. She looks to be about 8 years old and on her way to becoming a successful future farmer. This is what the market is all about to me.

My next stop is Two Farmers Farm. I first had their Siberian Kale back in the Spring and I have to tell you, it was the most tender kale I have ever eaten. It was so good I was eating it on my way home. If you’ve ever had other kales, they’re course generally and need to be massaged before putting in a salad. I love their assortment of greens and they’re customer service.

I was first introduced to Cornerstone farms at a fundraiser I did a couple of years ago. I donated two of my photos to help raise money for SNAP which allows EBT cardholders the opportunity to purchase produce at half price. I won a silent auction gift card from Cornerstone. They were very generous with their offer and it was easy to see when I met them. They’re wonderful people who enjoy talking and educating the public on their produce. They always take the time to explain the new wonderful vegetables they have. They turned me onto Kolrabi which to me tastes a lot like the stem of broccoli. I shred it and put it in cole slaw or a stir fry.  In the Spring, I purchase my seedlings from them. This year I enjoyed golden grape tomatoes and green peppers all summer.

Maine Cap n Stem has the most interesting mushrooms. They’re table is always photogenic. Their displays are very well done. These people know mushrooms. I first tried lions mane and king oysters corals from them. They have a mixed quart you can purchase and try many of the different varieties. Ask them about how to prepare them and you will be amazed at the things you never knew you could do with mushrooms.

Snell Family Farm has a display of flowers and bride would be sold on. Last week I purchased a vase of flowers that looked as though they were antique in color. They sat in a beautiful olive green vase. I couldn’t walk passed them. After I took a few pictures, I asked the woman proudly selling them to hold them for a picture. I handed them to my daughter and we both fell in love with them. I usually buy my flowers from Frinklepod Farms in Arundel but I just couldn’t pass these up.

South Paw from Freedom had the perfect poblanos. The dark green healthy amazing peppers were going to be perfect for my next dish. I also was drawn to their perfect carrots. I make a curried tofu salad and I only use carrots from the market in it. There’s something pretty special about taking a bunch of carrots with full green tops. It doesn’t get any fresher than this.

There are many famers there and my blog could go on forever. They’re all wonderful. I’ll leave the website for a full list of them so you can see for yourself. You will not be disappointed. There’s a lot of everything here. There’s arts and crafts in their own nook. There are musicians playing the perfect music and even a woman on stilts dressed like Alice from Alice and Wonderland. You’ll see happy dogs thrilled to be meeting new dogs. It’s kind of like their little meeting place. There are many many children learning the way to self sustainability. There are children with their own bags doing their own shopping. Nothing makes me happier than to see young ones trying something new, handing over their dollar for an apple half the size of their head or just piggy backing and taking it all in. There’s just so much going on. There are a lot of choices. It’s a celebration of food. It’s a classroom, a meeting place and a canvas for photography.

I follow a whole food plant based lifestyle. I’m certified in plantbased nutrition. I’m also a food photographer. The Portland Farmers Market offers me all of this. I can do my shopping, learn about new produce and take some of the most spectacular photos. It’s the whole package. If you’ve not made it to Deering Oaks yet, treat yourself. Talk to the farmers. Meet the people. Learn something new. Enjoy the community. Try a vegetable you’ve never seen before. Take it all in. You’ll fall in love with famers markets.

For a full list of farmers and to view their online store, visit:  http://www.portlandmainefarmersmarket.org and http://www.mofga.org

The Portland market is in Deering Oaks every Saturday and Monument Square every Wednesday until December. Their hours are 7am to 1pm. I’ll post about the winter market as we get closer.

 

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Union Bagel Co.

Every weekend, I think of a city or town I want to visit to see what gem of a food establishment I’m going to discover. Sometimes I’ll visit a place by word of mouth but most of the time it’s simply a visit to explore. Portland, Maine is a great city for such an adventure.

One particular Saturday, I made plans to visit the Portland Farmers Market at Deering Oaks. As I was leaving the market, I was headed to the Portland Co Op. I went a different way which took me to some side roads. At a stop sign I chose to take a right thinking it was the right way later to find out it was the best right turn I’ve taken in a very long time. My eye caught this store front with a sign that read: Union Bagel Co.. I had heard about them and wanted to try them and there they were. I spend a lot of time in New York City and this is exactly the type of bagel place I would expect to see in The Village.

As I went inside, immediately I felt it was a warm inviting place with the smells of toasted bagels and brewed coffee.The customer service was immediate and friendly. Everyone was working non stop and as they were making breakfast bagels and layering cream cheese on the beautiful homemade bagels, they greeted me with a pleasant hello and asked if I had any questions. I was overwhelmed with happiness when I saw they made a tofu spread for their bagels, their warm, toasted bagels made with organic flour. Where have I been ?? I ordered a toasted everything bagel with their tofu spread, spinach and avocado.

While I waited, I asked if I could take some pictures of their bagels. They were just beautiful. Each bagels with their own homemade look sitting on their baskets waiting their turn to be slathered with the many spreads Union Bagels offers. There’s a small counter top out front so I set up my little area ready for a picture of my order next to their napkin dispenser that had their logo ready to go for my shot. My name was called and my breakfast was ready. It smelled incredible. As I unwrapped my toasted gem, the aroma told me I made a great choice. I set my bagel up by their logo and took some quick shots angling it just right to showcase the beautiful spinach and avocado layered within their homemade tofu spread. The spread reminded me a lot of hummus but just different enough to be intriguing. I wanted more of it to bring home. The entire experience lasted about 10 minutes because it was so good that I couldn’t get enough. You can taste the love and dedication in everything they make.

I knew immediately this would become a Saturday tradition along with the farmers market. Finding an incredible bagel that offers plantbased spreads and customer service that’s very friendly was a complete package. These people know what they’re doing and they do it right.

I highly recommend Union Bagel Co.. They’re conveniently located at 147 Cumberland Av., Portland, Maine with an additional store opening soon. You can take bagels with you so you can share this experience. I suggest bringing a friend or four. They’ll love you for it. Nothing is better than turning friends onto good eats.

Visit their website for more information at: http://www.unionbagel.com


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Mamis Portland, Me

Portland, Maine is a haven for a variety of restaurants, food trucks and cafes. I’m always in search for good food, local food. Sometimes it happens by a search but more often it happens just by driving around Portland and something catches my eye. In the last couple of years I’ve been fortunate to discover not just one of the best food trucks I’ve ever eaten at but a restaurant to match.

I’m talking about  Mami’s Restaurant in Portland, Maine on 339 Fore Street and their Japanese Food truck. Just a couple of years ago I was leaving the Portland Farmers Market at Deering Park and headed over to Urban Farms Fermentory.  As I drove by Rising Tides, I saw a beautiful food truck. It was all black with a delicate drawing and the words “Mami” on the side. I was with my daughter, Ronni and we pulled in the parking lot without hesitation. The menu was intriguing. The Yokasoba noodles caught my attention first followed by the grilled  rice ball, the Yaki Onigiri. We each ordered the noodles and decided to share the rice ball. The customer service was very good. These people were obviously proud of their menu. When that happens, the meal already taste good and you haven’t gotten it yet. I couldn’t help but peak at the people around me to see what they were trying. The plates were colorful and every single person was focused on the food in front of them. Another great sign that this is going to be good.

Our name was called and when I went up to the truck, the person who helped us said,”Thanks guys! Enjoy!”. I love that!  As always with me (and get used to it if you eat out with me) the camera came out. This was a photo opportunity I wasn’t going to miss. The food looked and smelled incredible. It photographed just a well. The colors popped and the pure art of their presentation made it easy to take pictures.  As we dove in, the taste was like nothing I’ve ever had. It all worked. The flavors, textures and aromas were happily doing their thing all together. The only disappointing moment was when we realized we should have ordered two rice balls. They were crispy on the outside with beautiful fresh scallions and when you got inside, the filling just tasted like heaven. If heaven made grilled rice balls, this would be it followed by the Yakasoba noodles. This is real food. Before I even got up from the picnic table, I was following them on social media.

This year we saw some really good news. Mami’s opened a restaurant with the same delicious options from their truck. My daughter surprised me with a special lunch there. It was as good as our first meal with the Japanese Food Truck. The customer service was enjoyable and engaging. They are as proud of the menu they’re serving as we experienced from the truck.

Owners Austin and Hana know food, good food. I love local and supporting local business and the farmers they support. Their restaurant and food truck are at the top of my list when I want to have good local, fresh, well made good eats. It’s a whole experience from the moment you look at the menu to placing your order, receiving your meal to the pure enjoyment.  Food should be celebratory. Maimi’s  offered all of this. Visit their website: http://www.mamifoodtruck.com


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Sometimes you just have to ask

“You can’t always get what you want. But you just might get what you need.” Rolling Stones

Never a more true phrase spoken. Thank you Mick Jaggar.

As I start my new journey, I think of what I want. I actually was able to imagine where I wanted to live and the type of place I was looking for. I just simply asked. The universe answers in mysterious ways. Within 48 hours, I found what I was looking for. I’m living by the water in a safe and happy place. That was pretty cool. So if it worked for my home, it must certainly be an effective way to achieve a good job. Not so easy. Or is it?

As I move along in my career, I decided that I wanted to step out of the kitchen and write about food. I didn’t want to write a typical cook book about making cookies and a weekend carrot cake. I want to write about food, the love of food. I want people to realize just how important it is in our everyday lives. There are people out there who are happy making a pork pie or Salisbury steak because they have to but then there are people who really love what they do. These people want you to receive the love they put into your food. Thought. Actual thought about what you might like and how to make it not only eye appealing, but taste amazing. A meal that you will be looking forward to having again before you even leave their house that night. That’s the type of food I want to write about.

I want to write about creating dishes for people who suffer from allergies. Teaching them how to think back to what they really miss and recreating that with them. It can be done. My ideas about how to approach teaching are very simple. Just find something you never thought you could have before and I’ll teach you not only how to have it again, but how to make it even better than before. The allergy scene is a growing one. I feel there a lot of options out there to try. My theory is: Why not make it yourself and put the love into it and share it. There so many options for so many allergies. I have a book that is ready to be published. It’s all types of cuisines adapted to the most common allergies. It’s an easy book that speaks to you as you read it. It’s like I’m standing right next to you in the kitchen. I want to travel and teach. I’m so close. I have a deal with the universe: You get me to this place and I won’t be a pain in your backside. I’d love to travel to different countries and learn their techniques. A lot of countries are gluten-free by default. It’s what they have available and how they use it. Maybe a show dedicated to people with allergies. That sounds more like my cup of green tea.

I know what I want and I think I know what I need. I may not get what I want but I know I will be provided with what I need. All I have to do is ask.


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The start of an amazing journey

I think I’m about to embark on a pretty interesting journey.

In the last few months, I have begun to clean up some pretty bad decision-making. One by one each debt has been getting paid. A lesson attached to each and every mistake. Trust was always a big thing for me. I grew up with a Sicilian dad and a hand shake, a good firm hand shake, was a good reason to trust someone and a deal. Well, enter the 2000’s. Those days were long over but I hadn’t caught up to that yet. So I made a business deal and chose a contractor for my house that I thought I knew and sealed them both with a hand shake. My first clue was at the closing for my business when the bank looked at the actual deal and asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this. I had put my home up for collateral. My partner put up nothing. But I had a new home and about to embark on a new business. I could do this. When the bank asked me one last time, I should have gotten the clue. I didn’t. Long story short, I lost the business 5 years later and my home. So some would think this is horrible. I’ve lost it all. Or did I? Physically, yes.

These were very expensive lessons to learn from a monetary value. They hurt from a personal view. My heart and soul went into both the business and the house. It was everyday. The business was 24/7. Up early, run the bakery, drive deliveries to Massachusetts at night and start all over again at 4am. What was I thinking? I could do this. No actually, I couldn’t. It all spiraled out of control. I got really sick one summer. I had an xray and a spot was discovered on my lung. Within a week I was being biopsied for Hodgkin Lymphoma. What was going on?? It all happened so fast. I couldn’t breath. The coughing was obnoxious. The last thing I remember in the OR was being asked if I like to play golf. I was out in seconds. The sugeon came in and said the biopsy was fine and I was sent home to rest for a couple of days. Rest? Were they crazy? Not at all. My daughter made me stay home and rest for two days. It was then I realized, this isn’t going to work. It’s not worth it. I watched what I was putting my daughter through and it just wasn’t worth it. But then I thought once I felt better I can still make this work. All the while ignoring my gut feelings and all the messages around me. My daughter swears I got sick just so I could rest a couple of days.

Finally the Winter of 2010, I decided it was enough. I closed the doors. The truth is, I felt great when I locked that door. I lost everything in it though. It was a tough one to walk away from but it’s then that I realized how important my life was and how materials really didn’t matter. It wasn’t a loss. I truly did the best I could. It was a wonderful place. People traveled all over to eat there. In the end, it was an increase in the lease that helped to seal the fate of the business. Not a total loss though. It was a gain of friendships, contacts (which would prove to be vital a few years later), knowledge, growth and most important, spiritual growth. Even though the debt was massive, I wasn’t going to let it get any worse. It took until this Fall but the business is all paid off. The house is about to come to an end as well. With a closing any day now, that too will be put behind me.

What was important was making the step to close the doors, both of them. Now materials really didn’t matter. I wasn’t going to determine my self-worth by what I owned. I’m a daughter,a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a co-worker and most important a mother. I feel I have been successful at all of these. Not because of what I own but because of the love I have for each and every one of them. Suddenly, my self-worth was becoming how I valued who I was. I was learning about Self.

Now the journey begins. I have a new place to live which I love. Through encouragement from my friends, I would imagine what I wanted for a house. It had to be safe, healthy, cute and by the water. I accomplished all of those. I absolutely love my home. Now my focus is on work, full-time work. I love what I do at Hospice. I was talking with a co-worker today and I told her that calling this a job just doesn’t seem right.It’s so much more than that. She said, “It’s not a job. It’s a calling.”. She’s right. It’s the most amazing place I have ever been. That’s part-time. So now I have to focus on the fulltime. It will to be something I love. It’s all about the journey.

I have been writing this blog as well as a few magazine articles. That’s the best side work I do. I love to write. I’m honored to be published in a few magazines already. It’s great work and you can share what you do with complete strangers. The important thing is you’re helping someone.

Now life is taking an interesting turn. My newest playtime hobby is painting. I decided to take a class and it was wonderful! I have been listening to more jazz and thankfully I have a friend that has similar tastes and he has been educating me on different types of music. I can’t get enough. All of this knowledge. Learning about things I love. Next on the list:Travel. I really want to travel. I want to learn about different cultures and recreate these dishes for people with food allergies. If I can do this, they too can experience other cultures without the fear of what they are eating. My goal is to someday have a show where I can recreate these dishes for everyone to enjoy regardless of your allergy. I have 6 cooking shows under mt beslt right now so I know that’s what I want to do. That day is coming very soon.

As a chef I often say sautéed onions, celery and carrots are the trinity of food. Travel, food and music are the trinity of life. My new journey is about making good decisions for myself. It’s about experiencing the trinity. It’s about learning, loving and experiencing all of the amazing things life has to offer.It’s about always trusting that firm hand shake but following up with a legal contract. It’s about listening to my gut always and having faith it’s all going to turn out exactly the way it’s supposed to.

This is the start of a fantastic journey.

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